Every year always seems like a new beginning, full of so many possibilities.
Well this year 2012 is an ABSOLUTE NEW BEGINNING for me.
Without getting into too much personal junk, etc... When I married the love of my life (19 years ago) I walked into a situation I never expected....one that would alter our lives, the lives of our children and several loved ones beyond our control. I have fought all this time to make things right for Sam and our family with his family. .....always feeling like the cause of such a horrible situation. Though he always insists it would have happened no matter who he'd married. Always feeling cheated that so many people in his life/family did not get to know the real me for various reasons. It has consumed me....trying to make things work, trying to make things right. Sam and are solid and happy, but have been through so much we shouldn't have because of the actions of others. I have finally come to the realization (Thanks to my loving husband).....I CAN NOT CHANGE A SITUATION I DIDN'T CREATE and I CAN NOT CHANGE THE PAST. I can only be who I am and whether others choose to get to know and love the real me ... is only a choice that they can make. I have wasted so many years....it's time for a change!! It's time to embrace the BLESSINGS in my life. So I am starting again....reshaping, trying to not think about the negative or the past ...My focus is on the HAPPINESS of my husband, children, myself, family and friends. I have never really included myself before. I am taking walks, getting back to many things I'd sat aside... ART and really whatever makes me happy..... pushing forward and stepping out of my safety zone to do those things I've set aside for ...."someday". And of course continuing to share JOY with others through donating my ART....which makes me HAPPY!!
So if you know me you know I've always said I AM NOT A PAINTER!! Never have been and have no desire to be. I have no desire to sit and copy a flower, building, cup, etc with a paint brush and try to make it just like it looks....blah to me that is stiffling and no fun. Now I do love to paint backgrounds or add a touch of paint to my ART sometimes.
Yesterday, Donna Downey ... www.donnadowney.typepad.com
announced a new online adventure ~ CANVAS CREATE! I decided...HEY I'm IN!!! So I signed up.
So here it is my version for January's Canvas Create. I decided to put canvas on a journal and make a journal of Love for my Hospice donations.
of course when it comes to making ART...I didn't follow the instruction completely...but embraced the knowledge and guidance in my own ARTistic way.
I didn't use a stretched canvas I used a journal that I covered in canvas.
not really sure I like these pre-primed canvas sheets....and may try other canvas in the future.
I didn't have the exact paints that Donna used....but do have the same brand in colors I love so used those. and apparently I'm more of a blender than she is too LOL and made a second canvas for the back while I had the paints out. Oh and I used different types of tapes...cause I love the texture of print.
I also didn't have a brush like she used for her flower...so made do....but will be searching for one :)
When I got to the point to add the word....I decided that it's just so hard to make a journal for a hospice patient not knowning their exact situation and what word might offend or upset....so I decided to write the word JOY (the reason I make the journals...to give them a touch of JOY) with glitter glue and then spread it out with my fingers --- sadly doesn't show up on the picture.
But felt it still needed something so added the rub on to make my finished journal :)
and of course I had trouble getting a good picture...but I tried LOL
Beautiful, Angie! Take care of yourself.
Posted by: Victoria Sturdevant | January 11, 2012 at 04:15 PM
Angie, this is just beautiful. You went outside of your box and now know you can do anything you set your mind to. I am so proud of you!!! Not just for the art, but for taking a stand for yourself!! Love you!
Posted by: Sherri Auld | January 11, 2012 at 04:32 PM
What a wonderful post.............so well written, and from the heart! You are indeed a wonderful person.............and no one can ever take that away! Love ya just the way you are!
Huggles
Sandy
Posted by: Sandy Pumphrey | January 11, 2012 at 04:33 PM
You go girl...how wonderful to hear a positive attitude and knowing how hard it is for you not to let others get you down, I'm pulling for you 100%! You are my friend and I'm so proud of you! Love your journal and treasure a picture I have that you drew! Love to you! Diann
Posted by: Diann | January 11, 2012 at 05:05 PM
Angie, this is so beautiful! I really admire that you spend a lot of art time on such wonderful acts of kindness! (((HUGS))) About your husband's family...I know it took a lot of strength to walk away from the situation. But you will be much happier focusing on your husband, children, yourself and your good works. Let the years of hurt and anger go and move forward in your life because you will never be able to change their behavior. It is what I did with a portion of my own husband's family (his mother, brother and sister). I have love and compassion for them all as fellow human beings, but choose not to be a part of the drama and hatred they so love to create. Hugs and Love, Tamara :)
Posted by: Tamara Comerford | January 11, 2012 at 05:07 PM
Ang I am so proud of you!!!! Taking your life back is such a huge step of allowing YOURSELF to heal!!! Sam is absolutely RIGHT and I'm proud of him for making you realize that!!! Your journal is amazing...I love it and loved reading about how you created it!!! Stepping outside our comfort zone can really suprise us sometimes!!!! Love you my friend!!!
Posted by: Penny Duncan | January 11, 2012 at 05:15 PM
You did real good. The journal is lovely. So glad you finally decided to live in the here and now. Hugs
Lucy
Posted by: Lucy Tarangelo | January 11, 2012 at 05:39 PM
Beautiful Angie! I am sure whomever gets it is going to treasure it! As to the in-laws, sadly, I dealt with the same mess for the 17 years the ex and I were married and I wish I had learned earlier to just let them say what they wanted and go on with my life without their behaviors or words getting to me! It would have made my life and marriage better all the way around! I wish you the best of luck in your new found plan of attack! *Hugs*
Posted by: Alicia B | January 11, 2012 at 07:31 PM
Angie that sounds like a wonderful break-through and your husband is so right. Your painting is beautiful!!! I joined too and hadn't realized she posted the first class yet... on my way to check it out.
Posted by: Wanda H | January 12, 2012 at 04:56 AM
Who said you weren't a painter..that is awesome...but you do such great work on whatever you choose to do I'm not surprised AT ALL!!
Posted by: Jolene Brown | January 12, 2012 at 07:41 AM
Wonderful journal, Angie. I'm so glad you are putting the past behind you. Always look forward to the future.
Posted by: Carol Parks | January 12, 2012 at 06:14 PM
Gorgeous Angie! Sorry I am just seeing it today. Kinda had the same thing with my husbands family. His baby brother was the only one who did anything right. My husband had the kindest heart but his brother was out to get all he could. We just had to live our own lives and I hope that you can too. So glad you are back. Love your canvas.
Gail in Oklahoma
Posted by: Gail Bales | January 15, 2012 at 12:15 PM
Amen Sista! You have a very wise husband and I am so happy you decided to listen to him. Sounds like his relatives are only cheating themselves. Good for you to look to the future and not dwell on the past.
Welcome back to the blogging world too. Your canvas is GORGEOUS!! Can't wait to see more of your creations from this class. Not a painter - ya right. I don't consider myself a painter either but I DO say I am a mixed media artist who uses paints.
Posted by: Terrie Lightfoot | January 17, 2012 at 11:52 AM